The Ballad of Flapjack and K'nuckles
by Butcher Jones
Summary: Flapjack is sick, and Bubbie goads K'nuckles into caring for him, much to his dismay. No pairings at this time, just pure unadulterated fluff. Rated for one swear word.


AN: I'm ridiculously tired at the moment of posting this, so please forgive any canon mistakes I may have made. Also, I might add a sequal to this if I can get work it out. I have a few ideas lined up, so stay tuned. :)

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Captain K'nuckles awoke to the sound of Flapjack sneezing, seemingly right in his ear. He jumped, startled and rather confused, still deep in the muddlement of a maple syrup hangover. The boy sneezed again behind his back, a soft, wet-sounding "_Chsh_!", followed by a spell of ragged coughing.

K'nuckles closed his eyes, hoping to catch some more z's, but Flapjack didn't stop sneezing. He cursed internally, willing him to stop.

"_Chsh_! _CHSCH_! _HuhISCH_! ...Ugh... Cap'n, I don't feel good..."

K'nuckles clenched his eyes tighter, pretending to be asleep.

"Cap'n?" A liquid sniffle. Damn, that kid was enough to put you off your food. '_Go away_!' he shouted mentally.

"Cap'n, I'm really si- _CHSHOO_!"

The sneeze sprayed a fine mist of spittle all over his back, making the sailor jump. "Blast it, Flapjack!" K'nuckles snapped, whirling on the boy. "Can't you see I'm trying to sleep here?"

Flapjack stared up at him with those huge puppy eyes, his lower lip trembling. "I'm sorry," he whimpered pathetically, sniffling again. "But I feel really - "

"You alright in there, baby?" Bubbie interrupted, her voice rumbling through the cavernous space of her mouth.

"Not really, Bubbie," Flapjack lamented, rubbing his nose, which was already tinged pink. "I think I'm sick."

"Sick?" Bubbie said concernedly. "I don't like the sound of that." Suddenly the wet, spongy floor was moving beneath them as Bubbie rolled out her tongue, thrusting the two adventurers out into the open air and depositing them on the dock. "Hmm," the whale murmured, eyeing Flapjack. "You don't look too good, honey."

She spoke the truth; the blonde boy looked quite bedraggled, with those dark circles under his bloodshot eyes, not to mention his red-tinged nose, which was running unmercifully. Bubbie reached a blue fin up to the child and pressed it to his forehead. "I think you've got a fever."

"Probably," Flapjack said wearily, then sneezed unexpectedly, spraying the side of K'nuckles' coat.

"Hey!" the Captain exclaimed, jerking away. "Watch it, boy!"

"Sorry, Cap'n," Flapjack said meekly. It was almost enough to make the salty old sea captain feel sorry for the little bugger... Almost.

Bubbie cast K'nuckles a dark look before turning back to Flapjack. "Oh, this won't do at all," she said, shaking her head. "K'nuckles, you need to find somewhere for Flappy to stay."

"What?!" K'nuckles yelped, immediately at attention when he realized he was going to be forced into taking some responsibility. "What's wrong with the place he always sleeps?"

"A dank wet whale mouth is no place for somebody who's sick!" Bubbie replied, as if he was a dolt for asking. "He'll catch pneumonia in there! He needs a nice warm bed if he's gonna get well."

K'nuckles heaved a sigh. It was too early in the morning for this; he was having a hard time thinking of a way out. Suddenly something dawned on him. "Well, Bubbie," he said with a sly smile, "I'd love to find the lad a nice place to bed down, but you know how expensive a room is..." He opened his pocket for emphasis, "...and I'm fresh out of cash."

Bubbie gave him a no-nonsense glare. "I've already thought of that, K'nuckles," she said flatly, and, rolling out her tongue again, she produced a small silk coin purse. "I'll pay for the room." Her tone softened when she addressed Flapjack, adding, "And don't skimp. Nothing's too good for my baby."

"Fine," K'nuckles growled, snatching up the coin purse and grabbing Flapjack by the hand. "But if I get sick too you better spring for a room for me!"

"Don't count on it," Bubbie muttered, watching as the two of them made their way down the dock, Flapjack turning to give a little wave before they disappeared into a crowd of sailors.

An hour later, Captain K'nuckles opened the door to a cramped, dirty little room in the heart of Stormalong, dragging the hapless Flapjack in behind. "Here we are, boy!" he announced, feeling in much better spirits thanks to the fact that he'd saved most of the money Bubbie had given him by renting the cheapest room possible. Flapjack was looking more frazzled than ever, though; seeing he was fading, K'nuckles added quickly, "Say, you've never stayed in a fancy hotel before, have ya? This'll be a great adventure!"

That perked the boy up a little. Unfortunately his excitement was quickly brought down by his cold. "Advent-_CHOO_!"

K'nuckles couldn't help but laugh at that. "Guess you really are sick, eh boy?"

Flapjack sniffled, rubbing his nose on his arm. "I guess so."

"Well, we better get you to bed then!" K'nuckles said hastily, herding the boy over to the filthy mattress, covered only by a stained, threadbare blanket. "We don't want you getting sicker than you already are after all, and the only way you're gonna get well is if you get some sleep!" He picked up the blonde boy and plopped him down on the bed in one quick motion, jerking the covers up over him.

"Yeah," Flapjack agreed with a yawn. "I am pretty tired."

"Sure ya are," K'nuckles agreed absentmindedly, not really listening. Now that he had the boy in bed half the battle was over; all he had to do was get out that door and spend the rest of the money that was burning a hole in his pocket. He could almost taste the candy. He was just making for escape when Flapjack spoke up behind him.

"Could you tell me a bedtime story?"

K'nuckles' shoulders tensed. "A story?" He grit his teeth. "Sure, sure, Flap, I'll tell ya a story." He sat on the edge of the bed with a sigh. "Okay. A story. Well, once upon a time there was this little boy who had a terrible cold, so he stopped asking for stories and went to sleep and everybody felt a lot better. The end." He glanced at Flapjack. "How's that."

Flapjack yawned again, rubbing at his eyes. "Not your best story, Cap'n." Suddenly his breath hitched up and he sneezed wetly, spraying a mist into the air between them.

K'nuckles winced. "That's some nasty cold ya got there, Flappy." He pulled a tatty handkerchief from his coat pocket and pressed it to the boy's nose. "Here. Blow."

Flapjack obliged, and when he was finished the seaman crammed the soggy cloth back into his pocket without a second thought. "Ew," Flapjack giggled, but his laughter soon disintegrated into congested coughing.

K'nuckles thumped the boy's back, a bit concerned. "You alright, lad?"

Flapjack caught his breath, swiping some tears from his eyes. "Ugh," he groaned, sniffling. "I don't feel good."

K'nuckles grumbled to himself. He could see his chances for escaping and gorging himself on candy flying right out the door, but looking at that innocent, miserable face was enough to melt even his salty old heart. "Scoot over, boy," he sighed, sidling up next to Flapjack on the lumpy mattress. Flapjack wasted no time in snuggling up next to him, pressing his small body alongside the Captain's and burying his face into the rough fabric of his coat.

"You're really something, you know that, Flap?" K'nuckles said with a wry smile, wrapping his arm around the boy.

"Uh-huh," Flapjack said sleepily, clearly not listening. His snuffling breathing was growing deep and steady; the Captain could tell he was nearly asleep. Just a few more minutes and the boy would doubtlessly be out cold, giving him a chance to sneak off and get down to the Candy Barrel as he had originally intended. The strange thing was, lying here with the boy, he was surprised to find he didn't really want to.

"Cap'n K'nuckles?" Flapjack murmured against the sailor's chest, his congested sinuses distorting the sound of his name.

"What is it, boy?" K'nuckles replied sleepily, not opening his eyes.

A soft sniffle and the blonde boy cuddled closer to him. "I'm glad you're my friend."

K'nuckles smiled defeatedly. As much as he hated to admit it, he really did love the little weirdo. "I'm glad you're my friend too, Flappy," he whispered, nestling his face into the fine, soft white-blonde hair.


End file.
